2020 is a miserable year and I had planned to get back in to writing, 2020 decided to sneak up on all of us and give us a good swift kick in the nuts. But…I’m alive, I’m healthy, and that is not something that I take lightly or for granted.
I thought as my first introductory post back to the Internet since February, I should just talk about what I have been going through and see if putting this on paper can help me make sense of what I have done and what I plan to do. Even as I am writing this blog entry, my brain does not want to cooperate and it wants me to just leave it alone for now.
I have been Off the Rails for a Long Time
Suffice to say, I disappeared from the writing world, lost the ability to write anything but fanfiction once in awhile and found myself drifting from one hobby to another like an aimless balloon tethered to nothing.
Looking back, I think it happened near the end of 2018 when the Freelance market dried up thanks to a bunch of changes by companies that I used for sources and a shift in the content to areas that required extensive knowledge I did not have. I had launched a freelance business in March of 2018 and it has been on the rocks since. Looking at it with a critical eye, I think I was pushing myself very hard and then when what I had built ground upon the rocks, I fell apart. Instead of trying to save it, I just hopped off and walked away.
The farther that I seemed to walk away, the harder it was to turn around and come back. I have been walking for two years and now that I have turned around, that ship called my writing is so far away.
I Promised myself not to Give up but then I did.
Looking back with the support of my lovely princess, I realized that I left my muse and my dream on that boat abandoned and alone. I had promised to myself that I would not give up but then I went and did exactly that.
The path is littered with unfinished stories. The Star Traveler Series since empty with no fourth book like it was promised two and a half years ago. The Jassik Creed Series has all the finished artwork for Books #3 and #4 and they sit unwritten.
The only creative thing that I have been doing is a Scifi Epic comic “Beloved Chains” (If you follow the link, please note that its a comic with adult themes and has some nudity) that I wrote the storyline for and working with an artist to do the art. To be honest though, I wrote the first eight of 16 chapters two years ago and we’re only half way through Chapter 2. So, I can’t claim that I have been doing anything really creative on that project either.
There was a lot of wreckage to pick up and honestly, in April of this year, I felt like it was too much and just wanted to stop and give up completely.
It was the Ghosts of the Greats that got me back
The only reason that I have returned is that I stumbled on to James Bell Scott’s How to Write Pulp Fiction that made me start carrying about writing again. The excerpts from the greats like Ray Bradbury and Raymond Chandler made me realize that I needed to push forward and write and that’s what I plan to do.
Reading what they had to say, realizing what type of story I truly loved writing, and which ones I grew up loving really focused me and got me to write this post.
So, I’m back. I’ve trudged my way back to my crashed ship of writing, taken quite a bit of chewing out from my muse, and ready to shove off and make 2020 the year that I return to writing!
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